We all have good days and bad days. Being a mama is hard and we are all human. No one is perfect. We are all just trying to figure it out day by day, hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute.
One minute I feel like a supermom; cooking, cleaning, doing “school work” with the kids. Gosh its feels great to feel so productive, confident and accomplished. The next minute I feel like I am failing. Failing at being a mom. Failing at being a good housewife.Failing at everything. On these days I just hope the kids know how much I love them and that I do try. I try really freaking hard.
Life is full of ups and downs, valleys and mountains. The great thing is, kids are resilient and forgiving. Despite the moments where I lose my patience or I can’t give them my full attention, they still tell me I am their favorite person. Even when they know my frustration is directed towards them, they still say “I love you mama” and give me the biggest hug. (to read more on how you are THE BEST MOM, click here)
Just yesterday, I lost it. They weren’t picking up their toys (after being asked 50 billion times), they had opened about 20 chip bags and the last straw was the milk cup being kicked over on the carpet because someone didn’t sit it on the coffee table like I had asked. I yelled out of anger, out of frustration, out of anxiety. Definitely not my proudest mama moment, but it was real. It was raw.
After my complete meltdown, they both hugged me. Told me I was the best mommy and that they loved me. Repeated how sorry they were for not listening. Vin kept telling me I am beautiful. To be honest he also said:
“Maybe after we take a nap, you won’t be mean anymore. Thats what happened last time. Last time when you were mean, we took a nap and when we woke up you were nice again”.
WOW. Talk about a knife straight to my heart.
I sat on the floor and ugly cried while holding both of my older babies. Their hearts are so pure, so forgiving and so honest. I apologized for my actions and my words. We got up and I promised to try to be better.
Try to be better. That’s all we can do when we have our bad moments. I try to remind myself that they are still little. They are learning and testing, but WHY do they not do what I asked the first time? The simple answer; they are kids.
But what does “try to be better” actually mean? What are we actually trying to be better at? For me it is patience. Having the patience to not react to quickly. To be present everyday by letting go of all the other things that are clouding my mind and to just “be” with my kids. Last but not least–to play, to sit, watch a movie, to swim, to jump…..All too often I am so consumed with trying to do laundry, or dishes when I NEED to be sitting on the floor playing or doing popcorn on the trampoline with them.
I want to send hugs to all you mamas in both your highs and lows.I want you to know you are not alone. You are not the only one who has bad days.
Here’s to doing our best and to giving ourselves grace for we are doing the hardest (and most rewarding) job on Earth.