A question I struggle with almost daily is “Am I doing enough for my kids?” Sometimes I feel like I am not doing enough. Not enough education. Not enough arts and crafts. Not enough follow through. Not enough discipline. Not enough life experiences. Not enough of whatever it is that I feel like they need. However, the bigger question is “Am I doing enough for me?” Am I doing enough self care? Am I drinking enough water? Am I doing enough of what I love?
Doing enough for yourself
is doing enough for your kids.
More “Being” and Less “Doing”
Doing enough is more about being there and helping with learning. More about being there when they fly down the driveway on their scooter. More about showing them what you are cooking in the kitchen. More about snuggling up on the couch during a movie. More about reading one more book. More about “tickling my back just a little bit more” (my favorite thing Vin asks for every single night) and more about singing Itsy Bitsy Spider one more time (we edit it to say “goes up the Lexi spout” and she thinks its the best thing ever).
How Do I Focus More On “Being” Than “Doing”?
I start by taking care of myself. Please understand that taking care of yourself so you can be the best version of yourself for your kids is not optional; it’s necessary! You are worthy of self care. You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Self care means taking responsibility and control of your mental and physical health.
If you are always running around on empty, everyone knows it. You have a short fuse, your irritable, you don’t feel accomplished. It impacts all of you relationships and can bring out the worse in yourself, and in your kids.
Things You Can Do To Take Care Of YOU
- Ask for help. Healthy people know when to ask for what they need. Others are there and want to help, you just have to let them. Push out the negative thought that they are “too busy to help”.
- Share the load. Allow your partner to help with bath time, bedtime routine or anything that will give you a moment to breathe.
- Commit to doing what is best for YOUR family. You know your family situation better than anyone. Evaluate your plans and know that you don’t have to be busy every moment. Know when to say “NO” to plans or activities.
- Do something daily that fills your soul and makes you happy. (Tons of options here. Workout, read, soak in the tub, garden, cook, write, etc).
- Avoid wishing away the moments. The good and the bad (this is hard when you have a crying baby and whining toddler). Life is too short and kids grow up too fast. Embrace where you are in life and know that every season has challenges.
- Surround yourself with people who can help you navigate your challenges, help you embrace them and help you successfully reach the other side. Motherhood take a village. A village of people who are not judgmental, who are inspiring, who are helpful and who listen.
- Go to bed early. Get the extra rest. Netflix can wait 😉
- Wash yourself. (Bath or shower, which ever you prefer)
- Positive affirmations. If you wouldn’t say it to your daughter, then don’t say it to yourself. Talk about yourself (all of yourself-mind and body) in a positive manner. Write out your goals and say you will reach them.
- BE GRATEFUL. This one can be so hard to do, but it is the most important. In the midst of all the dirty laundry, diapers, long nights, toys on the floor, children pulling on you, fighting siblings, and meal making, acknowledge your blessings. Even if you feel like you are living in a constant fog of “what the heck?”, gratitude can change the way you feel and think.
[I have been following Well & Wealthy and love her post! She has a great post on self care activities broken down by category (basic, relaxation, productivity, community, emotional). Check out her post here.]
Take care of yourself. Focus a little more on you mama! I make sure I am taking care of myself so I can show up happy for my kids. Maybe that is what is making the biggest impact on my kids?
Do you think you are taking enough care of yourself? If not, I encourage you to take time to indulge in self care. Do it for yourself because you are doing enough.