Do you feel like you forget who you were before you had kids? If so, it’s time to rediscover yourself after motherhood; it’s worth it.
Being a mother is all encompassing and takes over every part of your life. In the beginning, your newborn needs you for every little thing, and you start to forget to take showers or to put on makeup each day. You fall asleep before you have time to read a book and order take-out instead of cooking, another thing you really enjoy.
Before long, you forget what life was like before you had kids.
Don’t get me wrong; we love our kids! Having kids is a blessing, but…..
It’s Easy to Lose Yourself to Motherhood
The job of being a mother takes over our lives entirely, and it leaves little room for anything else. Whether you stay at home, work from home, or work outside of the home, being a mother comes with a never-ending list of responsibilities and tasks.
We have to keep tiny humans alive, and honestly, it becomes slightly addictive as well. We find things for our toddlers to do on Pinterest, buy the cutest clothes, and wrap ourselves in motherhood.
When we talk to our friends, it becomes a battle to see who has the worse motherhood battle story for the week. It becomes a pride thing – we want to sacrifice for our families – but that leads to misery.
Mothers do it without realizing, and even if we think that we are safe from it, at some point, you’ll find yourself sucked down the hole of motherhood without any return.
You start to forget who you were before you had kids. Moms stop their hobbies or going out with their friends, and you try to find ways to stay sane as a SAHM. You look for motivation, but a huge part of the problem is that you lost yourself to motherhood.
Now, you have to learn how to rediscover yourself after motherhood.
Learn How to Rediscover Yourself After Motherhood
Becoming a mother is amazing; don’t think that it’s not.
However, you are more than a mom, and it’s okay to take time to rediscover yourself after motherhood. Making yourself a priority is not a crime; it makes you a better and happier mom.
1. It’s Okay to Be More Than a Mom
Being a mother is wonderful, but being yourself is even better. You are more than a mom. You might be a wife, mother, daughter, friend, gardener, avid-book reader, baker, or lover of all things Netflix.
It doesn’t matter what you define yourself as, but you cannot just say you’re a mother. You’re more than that, and that’s good. It doesn’t mean that being a mother isn’t important, or that your kids aren’t one of the most important parts of your lives.
Take time to think about who you are. Who are you? Write it down and remember it. It’s a big part of your journey to rediscover yourself.
2. Focus on Your Health
My health took a serious backseat after I had kids. Cooking healthy meals for myself went down the drain when all my toddler only eats chicken nuggets and yogurt. When my husband worked long hours, the idea of going to the gym left as well. I paid that price until I took charge of my health once again.
Take time to come up with a plan to recapture your health. That might mean getting up and walking on the treadmill every day or doing yoga after the kids go to bed. Try taking a class or two on the weekends when your spouse is home.
Prioritizing your health is vital. Trust me.
3. Find Hobbies You Love
Did you have hobbies that you lost after you became a mother? It’s time to take those hobbies back, and if you don’t have a hobby, find one.
Ask your friends what they love to do, and don’t be afraid to try something you might not like. The options for hobbies for stay at home moms is endless; you’ll find something that you love if you try.
4. Include Kids in Your Hobbies
I know I used to feel a bit guilty about working on my hobbies, but then my friend told me to try to find ways to include my kids with my hobbies. Sometimes, it takes a big of modification, but it gives you the ability to do the things you still love!
You might not be able to hike mountains, but you can hit easier trails with a baby in a carrier. Enjoying daily yoga classes may be too much, but you can pencil in one in-person class a week and try online yoga with your toddler instead.
Teach your kids how to garden; it’s a fantastic life skill to have. Host a book club for moms at your house where the kids have an activity so you can discuss the book you’re reading.
5. Have an Accountability Partner
Look for a friend or ask your spouse to help you stay accountable. It’s easy to stop our journey to rediscovery when no one is watching or knows what we are doing.
An accountability partner can ask if you worked out recently or if you ate anything other than coffee for the day. They might ask you if you had time to yourself or if you went on a date with your spouse recently. Knowing someone is checking up on you helps you stay motivated.
6. Prioritize Yourself
Mom, you are a priority, even if you feel like you aren’t, and it’s okay to fit yourself into your stay-at-home mom schedule. Make your sleep and alone time a priority. Pencil in time to work out, go out with friends, and work on a new hobby.
When you fill your personal cup up with things that make you happy, you end up a happier mom. Your cup overflows into the people around you, like your kids and spouse. They see that mom is happy, laughing, and having a good day. Happiness truly is contagious, so spread it around your family. It starts with loving and prioritizing yourself.
7. Connect with Friends
Everyone needs friends – seriously.
Some friends ditch us when we have kids, and they don’t. I know; I lived that, but that’s the exception not the rule. Making time to be with your friends is a huge part of figuring out how to rediscover yourself after motherhood.
Go out on dinner dates with your friends, head to a concert, or shop until you drop. Spend time with each other, with or without your kids, but make sure you take time to be kid-less and focus on yourself.
8. Prioritize Your Marriage
Marriages fail after having a baby; it’s just the sad – yet real – truth. It’s easy to put your marriage on the back burner since you assume that a baby needs to be nurtured the most.
Plus, it’s hard to find a babysitter to cover your date nights. You end up totally exhausted at the end of the day rather than spending time with your spouse, connecting.
Sex is thrown out the window entirely.
Mama, focusing on your marriage is not a bad thing, and it’s not taking away from your child. Giving them two parents who love each other just as much has they love their child is a true blessing as well.
Take the date nights, even if you have to do some dates at home. Stay up a bit late on the weekends to cuddle and watch a movie. Make time to connect with each other every day to see how each other is doing and to find out what the other person needs.
Rediscover Yourself Again!
The journey to rediscover yourself after motherhood is a long one, but it’s well-worth the time and effort you put into it. Finding yourself makes you a happier mom and wife, and you want to be happy. So, remember what you love, invest in yourself, and prioritize what you need and love.